Pain, Doctors ignoring patient concerns 

My head is pounding really hard. I went to my doctor yesterday and it was an annoying visit. I loved that the doctor tried to tell me that my genetic disorders (not talking about migraines) was all in my head. I was stunned silent. Anyone who knows me knows I am rarely silent. I have years of blood work and medical records and she tried to do the placebo effect on me.

 It is all in my head. WTF??? Yes, there is pain in my head and I have to find ways to relieve it due to doctors being afraid of the DEA and CDC. I might start carrying a copy of the physicians oath. 

She did tell me that I do not need to tell doctors if I have suicidal thoughts. Yes, I have them but I have a safety net that is there 95% of the time. I would have thought that doctors need to know that information. It doesn’t mean I am actively suicidal. It doesn’t always have to be due to my pain and there are other reasons for those feelings; I am just being honest with my doctors. Does she tell other patients this? What if they are actively suicidal? What happens if she does nothing? 

But that wasn’t what I shocked by. It was that I am imagining the pain in the joints and the obvious swelling I have along with the other visual symptoms. Then she asked if I needed a flu shot. I said yes and, of course, I forgot that yet again anytime I have to have an immunization, I become super tired. So I slept through Tuesday. 

I will say there was two good things about yesterday. First was that the health center I go to has hired a behavioral therapist and I talked to him. He gave me ideas on new ways to help with the pain and other things. Second was that when I came home, 2 of my beautiful nephews were visiting. They make my world brighter. I have one dream goal in life: I want all 5 of my siblings kids in my lap. Not posed just naturally. 

I will be back….

Since my 09/16/2016 post, I have not been myself. My PTSD was triggered that day in a way I can’t describe. I am working on getting myself right side. It doesn’t help that I have had a migraine since 07/26/2016. I have had a medium to high level of pain but that is not all a migraine is. I don’t wish this upon anyone. Some nights, I can’t sleep and have to during the day. My dreams have become almost a reality for me. There are days when I don’t know if I dreamt something or if actually happened. This is aggravating my family and what is left of my friends. What is most aggravating is that they don’t see how hard it is on me. I try and write in my journal but that doesn’t help. My doctors tell me they don’t know what it is; just that I have to go through it. It is making for an extremely place or road to be on by myself. People say that I need to switch paths or roads; I only see and go by what my instincts tell me. Good or bad, I have to deal with the consequences. Not just emotionally but psychologically and physically. My autoimmune diseases are interconnected to my physical disabilities which adds to my psychological and emotional.

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PTSD triggered today

I just want to put this out there because my PTSD was triggered today. It made my pain in my head worse because I threw up everything I had eaten today. I am not looking for sympathy of any kind or any response. Just read it.If you know someone has PTSD and migraines (honestly anyone with PTSD, solider or not), find out how you can help when they become triggered. Some don’t like to be touched. Some need just to have to be able to touch something or hear a voice. If you are not aware that someone has PTSD, ask them what they can do. It actually hurts worse when you just walk away or don’t even acknowledge it. That is the worst thing you can do.

Picture credit: Rene Smith